It would be wonderful if we lived in a world where no one ever got in another's way, where no one ever offended another, where people never became each other's enemies. One of the conditions that make heaven so appealing to us is that it is just such a world where offenses never occur. All relationships there are peaceful, happy, and encouraging. But while we yet live in this world we must learn to cope with offenses, emotional injuries, and enemies. We are told in Jas. 3:2 (KJV) that "in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body." Not only do we suffer offenses by others, but we ourselves offend others. Many times these occurrences are not intentional; but whether unintentional or deliberate, the one offended still feels the emotional pain. If that pain is not relieved by satisfactory reconciliation, the one injured will probably become an enemy to the offender. Enmity always involves anger, and Jas. 1:20 informs us that "the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God." To have enmity toward another person is to harbor an evil attitude, and to incur the enmity of another, when you can avoid it, is also within the province of sin.
Romans 12:21 gives us the Christian formula for dealing rightly with offenses, given or received, and the enmity which they generate. First, it teaches us to "not be overcome by evil." The context shows the "evil" under consideration is allowing yourself to respond to provocation with vengeance. In the preceding verses it says, "Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. ... Never take your own revenge, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, 'Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,' says the Lord." As Satan watches our lives, he is very alert for the opportunity where one person provokes another. Nature urges us to apply the rule of getting even by giving back an equal measure of hurt for what we have suffered. Satan has to encourage us but very little to induce us to resort to this rule. Furthermore, our family and friends are usually quick to offer us their support, advising us to take revenge and praising us after we have done it. But such reaction is allowing yourself to "be overcome by evil." It is impossible to defeat evil with evil, (Mat. 12:25-26). When hatred is met with more hatred, then hatred is only compounded. Enmity gradually escalates until those who feed it are themselves consumed by it. Thus are we warned in Gal. 5:15, "If you bite and devour one another, take care that you are not consumed by one another."
The second part of the formula for dealing with offenses is given in the words, "but overcome evil with good." Experience tells us that such a response is not natural; people do not instinctively return good attitudes and actions for offenses inflicted upon them. This is a mode of thought and behavior which must be learned, and the gospel of Jesus emphatically teaches it to all who are willing to learn.
In Mat. 5:44 (KJV) Jesus instructs us to "love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them who despitefully use you and persecute you." Not only did He teach this way of response to us, but He practiced it Himself. Though reviled and hated throughout His ministry, He never returned to His oppressors anything but goodness, kindness, forgiveness and mercy. Meeting hatred with such sterling qualities of spirit is the only effective antidote for its poison. They break the vicious cycle of escalation and give the best opportunity for transforming enemies into friends. Booker Washington, (1858-1915), the imminent Negro educator, once said, "I will not allow any man to make me lower myself by hating him." The only real way to destroy an enemy is make him a friend.
